Đang xem: Don t go where i can t follow

4.18  ·  Rating details ·  605 ratings  ·  93 reviews
Don't Go Where I Can't Follow is a tender collection of letters, photographs, and drawings Anders Nilsen has compiled in memory of his fiancee, Cheryl Weaver, who died of cancer in November 2005. It is an appreciation of the time they shared together, and a heartbreaking account of the progression of her illness. Including early love notes, simple and poetic postcards,
Don”t Go Where I Can”t Follow is a tender collection of letters, photographs, and drawings Anders Nilsen has compiled in memory of his fiancee, Cheryl Weaver, who died of cancer in November 2005. It is an appreciation of the time they shared together, and a heartbreaking account of the progression of her illness. Including early love notes, simple and poetic postcards, tales of their travels together in written and comics form, journal entries and drawings done in the hospital during her final days, and a beautifully rendered tear-jerking account of Weaver”s memorial, Don”t Go Where I Can”t Follow is a deeply personal romance, and a universal reminder of our mortality and the significance of the relationships we build.
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Shelves: books-loved-2013, gn-grief, gn-memoir, gn-bio, gn-health, cancer, comics-diary
“Don't leave me here alone! It's your Sam calling. Don't go where I can't follow! Wake up, Mr. Frodo!”–Tolkien, Two Towers

All of Nilsen's work that I have read besides this work (Dogs and Water, Big Questions, Monologues on the Coming Plague) seems philosophical, deliberately spare, ironic, Samuel Beckett-like, stripped down emotionally and technically. Controlled, in a certain way. Not personal in any obvious sense. Maybe some people might see the work as flippant, as obviously anti-aesthetic, “Don”t leave me here alone! It”s your Sam calling. Don”t go where I can”t follow! Wake up, Mr. Frodo!”–Tolkien, Two Towers

All of Nilsen”s work that I have read besides this work (Dogs and Water, Big Questions, Monologues on the Coming Plague) seems philosophical, deliberately spare, ironic, Samuel Beckett-like, stripped down emotionally and technically. Controlled, in a certain way. Not personal in any obvious sense. Maybe some people might see the work as flippant, as obviously anti-aesthetic, anti-Art School pretension. I find a kind of shyness, tenderness, vulnerability, humor in it. More philosophical than personal or political, certainly.

Then this terrible thing happens to him that sort of is the personal and professional Speed Bump it would be for anyone: His girlfriend Cheryl gets cancer and dies. And they are young, in their twenties. He does what many normal people do, but maybe more artists than non-artists, he puts together a sort of memorial for family and friends based on sketches and journaling he did while she was sick, then gets help publishing it in a limited edition by Drawn and Quarterly, then rethinks this as too personal and raw and possibly giving the impression of being self-serving, and stops production. Then five years later he decides to allow a second printing. As he says, love and loss comes to us all and we need to process it in our own ways, so maybe it”s okay to share his way.

In many ways it is just as minimalist, and unpretentious, as any of his other work; it feels honest, and this is about him and her, her death from cancer, their experience of it together. I liked it very much, was moved by it in many ways, maybe especially by its honesty and simplicity. All these books on death (I think of Harvey Pekar”s My Cancer Year, too, though he writes that one) bring you back to other deaths you have faced, or they do this for me, I think, and that is enriching. It”s also about how we memorialize the ones we love and lose. And what a great title, eh? …more
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Jul 27, 2013 Melissa rated it liked it
I thought I had a lot to say about this, but I'm going to table any attempt at a review & go hug my husband. I thought I had a lot to say about this, but I”m going to table any attempt at a review & go hug my husband. …more
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Jan 06, 2013 Lauren rated it it was amazing
There is so much I want to say about this book and yet I don’t think I can quite put it into words. I absolutely LOVE it. When I first saw it at our local bookstore, I flipped through it a few times, thinking, “Hmm. Looks interesting, and kind of a cute love story.” Went back in today and decided to buy it. As I chatted with Skylar (bookstore employee) about why I was buying it, I referenced my friends/family that have been impacted by cancer; I thought Nilsen’s approach would be a unique way to There is so much I want to say about this book and yet I don’t think I can quite put it into words. I absolutely LOVE it. When I first saw it at our local bookstore, I flipped through it a few times, thinking, “Hmm. Looks interesting, and kind of a cute love story.” Went back in today and decided to buy it. As I chatted with Skylar (bookstore employee) about why I was buying it, I referenced my friends/family that have been impacted by cancer; I thought Nilsen’s approach would be a unique way to tackle the subject. I braced myself for some sadness, a bit of nostalgia, and hope in the face of love and loss…but didn’t know that it would go much beyond that.

Then, I read it. Twice. In about an hour. It is AMAZING. Stunning in its simplicity—some photographs, postcards, a letter, a few drawings—it captivates you in a way you don’t expect. As you flip each page, you are drawn in by its modesty as well as its significance. Nilsen’s decisions to include (and not include) snapshots of his life with Cheryl affect you in profound ways; he lets you into their little world , allowing you to feel comfortable enough to hang out with them, but honoring their privacy all along the way. As he delves deeper into the issues of illness, love, loss, and what’s left, you find yourself coming to grips with these same experiences—you are challenged, pushed, touched, changed.

The brilliance of this book is that, upon first glance, it’s a “cool” mixture of mediums to tell a story…and yet, in that simple elegance, it is transformative. The photos are ones which any of us might have taken on a similar trip; the camping description, a tale we all might be able to tell. Nilsen’s ability to bring such beauty to the “normal” is the power of this book. By the time you get to the illness, you already wish you knew more about Cheryl, Anders, their world…and are extraordinarily impacted by the ways in which your own life gains deeper meaning.

Most poignant and utterly beautiful (for me) are the last 30 pages. Heart-wrenching, gorgeous, just incredible …reminds us why we are all here. What a wonderful way to honor someone you love—and to honor our remarkable ability to love in and of itself…no matter how long it lasts.
…more
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Jul 24, 2020 Reading_ Tam_ Ishly rated it it was amazing
Damn I am still crying. It's so sad, happy and beautiful.

All the nostalgic feels.

The reality.

The story of two people and everyone they love.

Their memories.

The photographs.

The dialogues.

The joys and the pain.

The things we remember in the end.

My poor heart…

Life is nothing in the end but the little things that mattered during those normal days. Damn I am still crying. It”s so sad, happy and beautiful.

All the nostalgic feels.

The reality.

The story of two people and everyone they love.

Their memories.

The photographs.

The dialogues.

The joys and the pain.

The things we remember in the end.

My poor heart…

Life is nothing in the end but the little things that mattered during those normal days. …more
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Oct 02, 2017 Sooraya Evans rated it it was ok
A rather raw scrap book compiling memories of the author with a special someone, who sadly passed away from cancer. Not quite an impressive presentation, art-wise.
But still a beautiful tribute nonetheless.

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Sep 14, 2019 Graeme rated it it was amazing
Shelves: graphic-novels, favorites, read-in-2019
A mixed media memoir of a relationship, the trivial and the tumultuous, the letters and postcards between a young couple, and the deep pain of loss. Damn.
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Jul 13, 2015 Jimmy Mcnulty rated it it was amazing
How do you write a review about a book like this? Anders shares with us a few key memories about the love of his life, Cheryl Weaver.

If I have one valid criticism, I suppose it's that I wish the book was longer. But I figure it's rude to even ask for that– he's let us pry into this private part of his life for long enough. This book, in its sparseness, makes you want to meet her, want to know her as he does, so perhaps this criticism is also a strength.

Possibly written as a tribute to her, to How do you write a review about a book like this? Anders shares with us a few key memories about the love of his life, Cheryl Weaver.

If I have one valid criticism, I suppose it”s that I wish the book was longer. But I figure it”s rude to even ask for that– he”s let us pry into this private part of his life for long enough. This book, in its sparseness, makes you want to meet her, want to know her as he does, so perhaps this criticism is also a strength.

Possibly written as a tribute to her, to help conclude (in the vaguest sense of the word) his own feelings, and/or an attempt to help others who have faced similar tragedy– this is a beautiful little attempt to immortalized her and let the world know that it lost a good person to a horrid illness.

I met Anders very briefly once, and I”m certain I came off as a bumbling idiot (I think I said something to the effect of “I understand comic paneling”). “Big Questions” is one of my favorite, probably my absolute favorite, graphic novel, so I was naturally a bit nervous. I hadn”t read this book yet, but I had bought it, knowing what it was about and already blown away by the gorgeously tragic title. I handed Anders a stack of books to sign; “Don”t Go Where I Can”t Follow” was one of them. I barely thought twice about asking him to sign it; half-heartedly, I figured that if he was open enough about it to publish the book, he wouldn”t be affected by signing it. That was an ill considered thought.

He signed it, kindly, with a drawing of Cheryl”s glasses, without a negative word about it. Now, having read the book, I”ve read and obviously realized that he”s had reservations about publishing this private look into his life; this should”ve been obvious. So, I”m sorry, Anders. Publishing this book to memorialize her and to help others doesn”t mean you should have to sign it for ill-considered strangers like me.

Famous writers have often said that writers write to expel demons, to deal with the problems and questions in our own lives. This is why I write fiction, this is why I wrote this review, this is why Anders Nilsen wrote “Don”t Go Where I Can”t Follow,” and why I hope he”ll continue to write intelligent, yet emotionally-sensitive graphic narrative for years to come. …more
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May 27, 2014 Raina rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: adult, biographical, graphic-novel-travelogues, graphicnovel, photo-book, nonfic, graphic-memoir
Made me cry, of course.

It's a beautifully designed book, and the story is inevitably heart-breaking.

It chronicles the relationship of the author with his significant other, who died while they were still engaged*.

Letters chronicling their travels, photographs of their adventures, drawings of her in the hospital, postcards from one to the other. It's a bit of a mishmash, a jumble, a potpourri of memories. There's a beauty in the mixed-bag feeling.

I never got the sense of who either of these peop Made me cry, of course.

It”s a beautifully designed book, and the story is inevitably heart-breaking.

It chronicles the relationship of the author with his significant other, who died while they were still engaged*.

Letters chronicling their travels, photographs of their adventures, drawings of her in the hospital, postcards from one to the other. It”s a bit of a mishmash, a jumble, a potpourri of memories. There”s a beauty in the mixed-bag feeling.

I never got the sense of who either of these people really were, though. I don”t even know what she did as a career. And I didn”t get the sense that she was particularly likable.

I wonder what is missing from the apparently-longer original paperback version.

That doesn”t make it any less affecting, though.

My favorite parts where the traditionally paneled graphic novel sections – about their hijinks getting to France and of her funeral. Makes me really hope he does some autobio work in the future.

*I guess that”s a spoiler, but really, you should know what you”re getting into. …more
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May 27, 2017 Karen rated it really liked it
Shelves: adult, comics, death, memoir-bio-autobio
Cried in the break room at work.
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Apr 03, 2019 Pegs rated it really liked it

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Poignant and good read, loved how personal it was, loved the more light hearted moments that balanced out the end, which made me cry. I think it was a little too short though.

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